WTF019 - Tart Noir.
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01 - Children.

It's 0312 on 12 July 2013.

In twenty hours the Beast will be dead. The executioners will raise their arms to show the symbolic head to the people. Then they bow and step away and the whole Nameles s experience becomes a game that no historian is ever likely to play despite being made up of all their favourite things: actual CDs still exist and if all goes well tonight the remaining stock will be given away to people who well may care.

For a week after the execution there'll be a localised burst of Nameless fever as everyone binges on this autobiography disguised as a virtual boxset. This initial flurry will be swept on a small group swapping stories about what actually happened. Neither will quite tally. When the live album comes out it turns out there were three options after all.

If you kiss and make up turn to WTF023 .

If you never speak again turn to WTF007 .

If it ends in a burning church surrounded by riot police turn to WTF015X .

02 - At the arse-end of the rainbow.

It's 0323 on 12 July 2013.

I've got a coffee. Of course I've got a coffee.

It's reached the point now that James and I are working in shifts. Petrified have released their Nameless back catalogue in an enhanced digital format. With the exception of ‘Welcome to the machine' which we'll get back to, that's now every single surviving Nameless song available to download for free.

We're all getting sentimental about stuff. That's how we get through this strange period of getting this imaginary monster's affairs in order. We tell ourselves that we're being stupid and sentimental and it's probably hayfever while raking through all the silted memory that's lain undisturbed for a decade. Things live in there. Things with teeth. And now the water's so murky you can't even see your hand in




03 - Greatest hits.

It's 0332 on 12 July 2013.

I'm flagging. I'm too old for this. I keep forgetting we've got a gig. I can't think of anything except the gig. I'm forgetting to be terrified. That'll all change when we start soundchecking.

Although it seems like we've reached the end of the Beast's story, that's not entirely the case. Today, the Beast must DIE! There's no choice in the matter. All the work that's been thrown into this final performance is based around a single attempt to exorcise this malignant, devouring thing that chews our cheeks, licks our eyeballs, and steers us with a specially-developed fleshy digit that slips so easily through mucous membranes you'd think it was a dead crab. It's insatiable. It's rapacious.

At this stage of Curs'd we have enough of the paperwork in order that the sentence can be carried out.

There'll be lasers. Lasers and smoke. Christ .

04 - Another cautionary tale.

It's 0340 on 12 July 2013.

This. WTF019 – Tart Noir that is. This was an experiment. We've pulled this release together on the day of the execution to see if it could be done.

The danger of raking through anything in this memory siltstorm is that the something with teeth might latch on. Sometimes you'll get away without a tally – a memory dances your way and it's so fucking beautiful you let it hang around. Being only a moment it's only got what you can hear first time. Alter your state and it's different, kind of, but really we know it's only got what you can hear the first time. When the first time was ten years ago it's not too difficult. But when something you've never heard before suddenly turns up. And when it's tight and fast and exciting and intense and all that shit? Yeah. That's when we start talking about sentimentality.

05 - The Salt Flats.

It's 0358 on 12 July 2013.

We were bluffing. We never had a clue, not really. Plenty of ideas but not a huge amount of direction.

Sometimes we got close. Things just didn't catch, which is a shame but that's the way it is.

These bootlegs would still sound like this even if we were massive. So pretend we were and see if that helps.

06 - Propaganda.

It's 0407 on 12 July 2013.

I just stood outside and stared at the sky for a bit. The sun's starting to come and the part of the sky that's still the darkest is a blue so deep that the last time I remember seeing anything like that ‘Milky' was barely walking and ‘Needleteeth' was a year away from being in English.

A bell started ringing which brought the silence into sharp relief by destroying it. Provoked by the cold shards of mute, a céilidh of seagulls kick off. The streetlight fifty yards away blinks out.

Fuck. Werewolf.

07 - Needleteeth.

It's 0413 on 12 July 2013.

It won't die easy.

It'll curse; cajole; bargain; threaten; reason; laugh; weep til snot flies in threads like a trainer's laces; scream; moan; lie; beg; it'll do all of this and it'll still end up on the sawdust, twitching and spraying.

But it won't die easy.

08 - Girls.

It's 0420 on 12 July 2013 and James has just come down to grab the files to upload.

The penultimate and the final gigs in Clwb. Same day! Sort of. None of this means anything.

The mp3s take ages to upload. They get snagged on the brambles. This is nearly finished for now. I can't put off sleep much longer.

The funeral's soon. This is an end of for now, but there'll be a final laying to rest.

WTF020 – MK1 ‘Acoustic': “Fuck that shit! Fuck shit up!”

WTF021 – MK2 TJs: How others see me.

WTF022 – Sorry I'm late, I've been drinking heavily.

WTF023 – The Beast Must DIE!

Then we let time eat all the bits that aren't too gristley or digital.

09 - Eating people is wrong.

It's 0431 on 12 July 2013 and James needs me to finish this so we can upload and brace for later.

I've been awake forever. This was starting to feel like a vigil, but that's stupid.

I've set Facebook and Twitter to post a short film of the Werewolf Break, ‘ The Beast Must DIE! 's infamous USP. This version has the Countdown theme on the top. Try as I might I couldn't work it into the ‘Pretentious Intro'.

The version as found on WTF018 is pretty good to be fair, but the new one's a lot better. Music to chop a monster's head off to.

I've been in this band for half my life now.

James is here. There's no more time. Look for the Countdown Werewolf Break . Do the times match?

Good luck.

0438 on 12 July 2013.

Epilogue - The Edge (has been torn out)

Original 2002 Rant:

“Tonight Matthew, I'll be turning to the Dionysiac.”

This has been a really, really weird week. The days potter along quite innocuously, then suddenly start to turn brown and runny, clouds obscure the sun, the wind begins to turn your marrow to ice and then everything's suddenly okay. It's getting a bit disconcerting. I shouldn't have drawn anyone's attention to the coincidence diary, or whole synchronicity thing either, because that's all gone into overdrive.

I suppose that none of that makes any sense to you. Oh well.

Half the band headed off up the lonely A470 early on in the day, The Reverend, Dems and myself planned to follow along later on with the very able assistance of Big J and Emma. Somehow we got our chores finished early, managing to slip a bit of Xmas lunch and bus waiting in also. We're not very good at twiddling our thumbs at home. We can do it in pubs and other people's houses, but not our own. This tends to lead to increasingly silly ways of relieving boredom. Today we decided that The Reverend would “tidy up” my hair a bit.


We purloined The French's clippers, made some tea, popped on The Muppet Show album and The Rev set to work.

“Make sure you grade it.” I said, wanting to lose the annoying neck tufts, but keep the bit on the top for future Dax Wax fun.

Pause. Sound of buzzing clipper.

“Um... Ahh....” muttered The Reverend.




“It might be better to take it all off. I misunderstood my brief.”

So now I look like Billy Corgan . It's really weird having a shaved head; chillier and people don't shout at you. It acts a bit like velcro, and it feels really odd. Also means baths don't take as long. The other interesting thing is that I can finally see and count the scars I've accrued through years of carelessness. There's a tale for every one, involving variously trees, steel doors, a climbing frame, rocks, a fire engine and a hungry dog. But hey, that's enough about me.

The journey up was more of an adventure than normal. We had to stop off at Hand of Glory first to make sure we had wares, coo at the runway lights, chuckle at the snow and so on. The Brecons seemed to be behind on their reality payments tonight. The amount of fog was ridiculous. I counted two cats eyes in front for about five miles and nothing on the sides at all. Nice to see that the roads around Newtown are still full of giant lorries with a speed inhibitor set to 20MPH and idiots in flashy cars that don't seem to understand exactly how bends work. I suppose they work on the principle that the quicker they get round the thing, the sooner they'll know if anything's coming.

There'd been some problem with the PA for the gig, I think it got sold or something, but Serg and Woozie pulled a few favours and managed to get one sorted out in the end. By the time we got there it was already quite full. I've said before that Newtown gigs are always fun, and they are. In a lot of ways it's more of a hometown gig for us than playing Cardiff . There are of course reasons for this, and you should know those by now if you've been paying attention.

We met up with a lot of people we haven't seen in ages, which is always good. There was a beer promotion on. Which is also always good.

The weirdest event of the evening however has to be the potential nightmare that was averted completely by serendipitous accident. Our little furry monkey fellow has escaped, and I don't think we'll be seeing him again. Naturally this was upsetting, but a potential calamity was averted in ways I don't entirely understand. Although we'd lost a primate, we seemed to have gained a mysterious pan-dimensional and possibly omnipotent creature to fill his place. Known only as “The Being”, he/she/it/they seems to exist in several dimensional planes at once. This can give you a migraine if you stare at he/she/it/they for too long. Very mysterious. Very spooky.

 Fat Majician played really well tonight. We haven't seen them since the Hamsters of Rock event a couple of seasons back. The last time I saw a moshpit like tonight's was at the queenadreena gig at The Barfly (You did read that right by the way, it didn't make sense to me either and I was in it.). The Reverend cornered Jonesy and Claire because they had a tiny wireless tuned to the World Service to keep everyone up to date with the football scores, and were mere inches from the bar. “I'm keeping a low profile.” he insisted.

We had a fair few equipment difficulties, but overall tonight was the best gig we've had in the last three. It's the audience that really supply the energy for a good gig. It's easier to work your guts out when you've just got to supply the energy for the space around you rather than fill a venue. Of course dancing kids give you a lift as well. There was a guy dressed up as a member of the Ghostbusters team who seemed to think he had joined us at one point. Which was odd. I got off with Rated, tongues and all, Dems got cramp, The French ended up in the crowd and The Being forced The Reverend to dance like some human puppet for his amusement. The lead kept falling out of the end of my mike, but no-one stood on my feet or hands, which was a bit of a miracle in honesty. Not in the same league as that business with the bread and bombay duck, but you get the idea.

Eventually the dancing girls managed to knock over the PA speaker stack, this was during the encore though so what happened next didn't cause as much of a problem as it could've: Rated's power point was crushed like a whippet under a piano, but with more sparks.

We sold a fair few CDs, got to talk to Clive who appears briefly hurling himself off a speaker stack on ‘The Salt Flats' video , got Xmas cards, kisses, hugs and so on.

And that's the public stuff finished for 2002. The wheels grind on toward next year, where we'll have a lot of new stuff to delight you with.

I can't say what just yet as it's a secret, but you shouldn't be able to miss it.


Ein unnötig beteiligt Liste aller verdammten Konzerte Nameless jemals gespielt habe.

Al: Words and that.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.


24/05/95: Watershed, Wrexham. Noch als Element an dieser Stelle.

20/06/95: Baldrics, Wrexham. Noch als Element an dieser Stelle.

xx/xx/95: Baldrics, Wrexham. Noch als Element an dieser Stelle.


Al: Words and that.

Phil: Live drums.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

Will: Mad on e.


22/03/96: The Black Boy, Newtown . Mit Monkey Magic Appreciation Society , Dream In Colour und Trigger .

27/05/96: The Crypt, Bangor . Mit Jughead .

21/06/96: The Black Boy, Newtown . Mit Trigger , Dream In Colour und Kill Uncle .

27/07/96: Watershed, Wrexham. Mit Thin Din .

06/06/97: The Castle Vaults, Newtown . Kaput.

25/06/97: Tommy's Bar, Cardiff . Mit Schroeder .

03/07/97: Dempseys, Cardiff . ‘Acoustic' mit Dusty .

05/07/97: Brewhouse, Bristle.

07/07/97: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Elliot Green , Orange und The Gems .

15/07/97: Philharmonic, Cardiff . Mit Ideal und Best .



Al: Words and that.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

Way: Journalist's dream and bass.

Will: Mad on e.


28/08/97: The Black Boy, Newtown .


Al: Words and that.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

Way: Journalist's dream and bass.


23/09/97: Philharmonic, Cardiff . Mit Amnesia Bleach und Verona .

24/09/97: CF1, Cardiff . Kaput.

15/10/97: Brewhouse, Bristle.

31/10/97: Brewhouse, Bristle. Mit Mancini und Jokeshop .

12/11/97: Bogiez, Cardiff .

02/12/97: Axiom Centre, Cheltenham . Mit Madelief und Smug .


Al: Words and that.

Sklav: Drummin' ‘n' drivin'.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

Way: Journalist's dream and bass.


21/02/98: Brewhouse, Bristle.

24/02/98: Philharmonic, Cardiff . Mit Roseland .

27/02/98: London 's Legendary Ruskin Arms, London .

02/04/98: The Elm Tree, Oxford . Mit Shoktopus .

07/04/98: CF1, Cardiff . Kaput für die zweite Zeit . die Scheiße .

24/04/98: London 's Legendary Ruskin Arms, London .

25/04/98: Full Moon, Bristle. Kaput.

28/04/98: Philharmonic, Cardiff . Mit Oxygum .

15/05/98: London 's Legendary Ruskin Arms, London .

19/05/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff .

29/05/98: The Elm Tree, Oxford . Mit Sanity Attic 2 und Tra La La .

18/06/98: The Elm Tree, Oxford . Mit Wave 27 und Deadbeats .

24/06/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff .

07/07/98: Philharmonic, Cardiff . Kaput.

11/07/98: Jericho Tavern, Oxford . Kaput.

17/07/98: Bogiez, Cardiff . Mit Down Town Super Punks und Mohobishopi .

24/07/98: London 's Legendary Ruskin Arms, London .

31/07/98: The Elm Tree, Oxford .

01/08/98: Cardinal's Cap, Canterbury . Kaput.

04/08/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff .

05/08/98: Towerlands Fucking Arena, Essex . Kaput.

22/08/98: The Elm Tree, Oxford .

26/08/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff . Mit Lethal Gene .

04/09/98: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Kaput.

09/09/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff .

09/11/98: London 's Legendary Ruskin Arms, London .

19/09/98: Physio and Firkin, Leicester . Mit Comic Book Heroes und Bankok Chick Boys .

23/09/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff .

17/10/98: Bogiez, Cardiff .

21/10/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff .

31/10/98: The Elm Tree, Oxford . Mit Ivy's Itch und Lethal Gene .

05/11/98: The Castle Vaults, Newtown . Mit UHT .

13/11/98: London 's Legendary Ruskin Arms, London . Mit Lethal Gene . Kaput.

25/11/98: Sam's Bar, Cardiff . Kaput.

05/12/98: Physio and Firkin, Leicester . Kaput.

09/12/98: Warwick Hall of Sound, Cardiff . Mit Chemical Reaction und Release .

08/01/99: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Kaput.

10/01/99: London 's Covent Garden's Rock Garden, London . Mit The Amber .

22/01/99: Dempseys, Cardiff . ‘Acoustic' mit Best .

29/01/99: Bogiez, Cardiff . Mit Curveside , Best und The Phazers .

30/01/99: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Mohobishopi , Bruise und Rachel Marie Kimber .

02/02/99: Tommy's Bar, Cardiff .

19/02/99: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Best und The Phazers .

21/09/99: Miner's Institute, Blackwood. Mit Scuba , Moe Petroni und The Henrees .

26/03/99: Football Club, Bridgend. Mit Spurious und Utopia .

19/04/99: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Release .


Al: Words and that.

Sklav: Drummin' ‘n' drivin'.

Way: Journalist's dream and bass.

(XXX) Rated: “A new body at last!”


24/05/99: The Wharf, Cardiff . Mit The Pull .

29/05/99: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Best , Sludgefeast und Grounded .

09/06/99: The Old Railway, Birmingham . Mit Scrage .

12/06/99: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Cubare , Tomsk und Oxygum .


Al: Words and that.

Way: Journalist's dream and bass.

(XXX) Rated: “Sticky tape on the windows. That kind of thing.”


28/10/99: JBs, Dudley .




Al: Words and that.

Sklav: Drummin' ‘n' drivin'.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

The Reverend: Doesn't do knobs and buttons.


02/04/01 : Sam's Bar, Cardiff . Mit Naughty und Presto & Spartanite .

17/04/01: Barfly, Cardiff . Mit Psycho Squad .

30/04/01: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit November und War On The Man .

16/05/01: Oz, Cardiff . Mit Sick Cell .

11/06/01: Oz, Cardiff . Mit Salad Days .


Al: Words and that.

Dems: Living drums.

Teflon Monkey: Everything else and keyboards.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

The Reverend: Doesn't do knobs and buttons.

(XXX) Rated: “I always dress for the occasion.”


17/10/01: Oz, Cardiff . Mit Ten-Chi .

24/11/01: Gretsky's, Cardiff . Mit Sublimation und Copper Vomit Cull.

06/12/01: JBs, Dudley .

13/12/01: Barfly, Cardiff . Mit Vine .

07/02/02: TJ's, Newport . Mit Janiero und Teryaki .

28/02/02: Barfly, Cardiff . Gehen Sie auf eine Sitzung zu feiern Lesen Sie mehr Bücher EP am Leben. Mit Janiero und The Cull .

01/03/02: Oz, Cardiff .

02/03/02: The Stout Fiddler, Newcastle . Mit Blund Wound Trauma und The Cull .

16/03/02: TJ's, Newport . Mit Janiero .

04/04/02: Tollhouse, Bridgend. Mit The Von Rectumstein Coalition .

12/04/02: Oz, Cardiff . Mit Naughty .

16/04/02: TJ's, Newport . Mit Janiero , Chang und (Death of Cool) .

24/04/02: Bar M, Cardiff . Kaput.

04/05/02: The Monty Club, Newtown . Hamster Gestein aufgebaut werden Ihren Ohren liebe dich , bis sie weinen. Mit GOD (Nein, nicht , dass man ), Mombomb , Optophobia , Mulch , Fat Majician , Manakin und Forcefeeder .

08/05/02: TJ's, Newport . Kaput.

25/05/02: TJ's, Newport . Mit Ciccone und The Sugarhouse .

31/05/02: Hilltop Club, Ebbw Vale. Mit Jarcrew .

04/07/02: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit The Errorplains und The Loves .

31/07/02: TJ's, Newport . Mit Janiero , Stuntface , Panel und HLD .

04/08/02: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . ‘Acoustic' mit Rocket Goldstar , Sal und Levin .

19/08/02: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Starten Sie Party für Ihre ' Salzig Klappen '. Mit Transposer und Mainline .

30/08/02: Football Club, Bridgend. Mit Noquenda , Nuke und Recoil ( Nein, nicht , dass man ).

04/10/02: Cardiff University 's Student Union, Cardiff . Mit Nerve 424 und Flinchy .

12/10/02: St. Donat's Art Centre, Llantwit Major. Mit Acacia , Airhammer und The Latex Avengers .

25/10/02: Recreation Centre, Bridgend . Mit Jeff Killed John , Valentine , Mombomb und Comic Book Heroes .

28/10/02: OTT, Newport . Mit Cut3Times .

06/11/02: Market Tavern, Ebbw Vale. Mit Tetra Splendour .

28/11/02: Oz, Cardiff . Mit Panel .

12/12/02: The Edge, Newtown . Mit Fat Majician .

23/01/03: Tollhouse, Bridgend. Mit Fog Donkey , Sandface und Noise:Bleed .

01/02/03: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Wendykurk und Nuke .

22/02/03: MS1, Cardiff . Mit Groovie Ghoulies , Stuntface , No Choice und Dangerfields .

23/02/03: MS1, Cardiff . Mit Mclusky , Panel , Flailing Wail und The Wishing Hour .

05/03/03: Sam's Bar, Cardiff . Mit Ballgag .

15/04/03: Toucan, Cardiff . Mit Tetra Splendour und Tourniquet .

20/04/03: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Electric Eel Shock , Flailing Wail und Then Came Bronson .

04/06/03: London 's Buffalo Bar, London . Mit The Elliot Wave Theory , Taxi und Touthe .

13/06/03: Miner's Institute, Blackwood. Mit The Kennedy Soundtrack und Johnny Mental .



Al: Words and that.

Dems: Living drums.

Lee: Obvious replacement.

Sklav: Drivin' ‘n' drummin'.

The French: Guitars and things beginning with ‘g'.

The Reverend: Doesn't do knobs and buttons.

Way: Journalist's dream and bass.

Will: Mad on e.

(XXX) Rated: “Peoples of the Universe, please attend carefully. The message that follows is vital to the future of you all.”

12/07/13: Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff . Mit Science B'stard . 

Gute nacht.  

Closing down –

explain how everything works, life




His Holiness the Pope had never heard the band before
His Holiness the Pope had never heard the band before
His Holiness the Pope had never heard the band before
And this is what he said:
”What the fucking ‘ell is this shite?”


Full credits alphabetical

Al and the Reverend: Words.
Big J: Cheerleading.
Darren: Evidence.
Dems: Returning.
Glyn: Rewarding.
IDJW: Him.
Lee: Appearing.
Little Em: Cheerleading.
Kimmie: Tells it.
Moly: Axe.
Petrified: Records.
Phil: Blameless.
Sklav: Of the Seventies.
Teflon Monkey: Being.
The French: Guitar and goodnight.
The Reverend: Still doesn't do knobs and buttons.
Various: Reviews.
Way: \m/
Will: Mad on e.
(xxx) Rated: Smooth operator.
You: Ta.